OptionalFiction

There are few things I hold in my head with as much dissonance as smoking. The smell is disgusting and the health risks horrifying. Yet, the image of one or two people finding respite in smoking is deeply romantic to me. It has appeal not only in what it symbolizes (a time away, time taken for oneself, warmth, pleasure), but also in appearance (a relaxed “cool” pose, holding the burning cigarette loosely between the fingers, blowing smoke up into the air). One examples that's really stuck in my head is from the film Drive My Car where the two main characters are smoking together in the car and are holding their cigarettes up through the sunroof of their car.

I was surprised to find myself drawn to end this piece on the inhale. Visually, I've always enjoyed the exhale of smoke most, but the warmth of the inhale contrasted too well with the coldness to not end there. In case it wasn't obvious until now: I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. I wanted to still write about it and try to convey the beauty I observe in it. The part about Gamescom is supposed to contrast and give backstory. That topic came much more naturally to me and was drawing on more familiar experience.